10.24.2012

sadly, he's right {gettin' big}

 
I can't tell you how many times my little Avery has told me, "Mama, I's dittin' bigs." I can assure you it's more times than my sensitive mama ears want to hear. I often gaze at the excitement he has for "dittin' bigs" and can remember the days I looked at grown-ups and thought it would be super cool to be big too. Precious Avery even tells me he can't wait to be tall like mommy-lordy, if the child only knew 5 feet 1 1/2 inches was pretty short in the grow-up would, he would probably set his standard a little higher. But nonetheless, my baby boy is "dittin' big."

I think as a mother you have to prepare your heart for constant bittersweet moments. I find myself getting frustrated because we are running late {if you know me in real life-can you ever imagine me running late? Ha!} and I wish in that moment Avery could just put his clothes on, the right way. Or I find myself getting frustrated because he makes a huge mess every time he eats. You know, the same-o stuff every mother wishes for in certain moments- for our child to be just a tad bit older and just a teensy weensy bit more independent. Is that what we mothers really want though? Do we really want our babies to be more independent and not count on us for every move they make? Heck no! What mother wants her baby to grow up?

Through these moments of my own selfish frustrations in wishing Avery could be more independent, mommy guilt sinks in-big time! I really don't want my baby to grow up any more. I know soon the days of wanting to cuddle with mommy will be gone, the days of kissing mommy goodbye at school will vanish, the days of wanting mommy's help to tie shoes or go potty will disappear and quite frankly, I'M NOT READY! My heart is not prepared for this. It's already hard enough to believe he's four years old. There is no stinkin' way he can grow up and be taller than his mommy one day.

No matter what I say or do, the reality of is all is it's going to happen. And it's going to happen too fast. In a blink of an eye, my sweet little 3 1/2 foot mini-me is going to soar over the top of my head, he's not going to let me kiss his sweet lips when I drop him off at school, and mommy won't be so cool anymore. There's no stopping time. Trust me, I tried to make a deal with God on that one and he wasn't havin' it.

One day, soon, my baby will be all grown up and one day he won't depend on me for every move he makes. And when that one day comes, I'm going to look back and remember the precious days of my sweet, baby, boy cuddles and picking up macaroni and cheese off the floor and think, "my baby was right, he did get big," and then I'm going to shed tears and have a nice long cry. But today-I'm going to treasure every breath I have with my baby boy. I'm going to relish in these sweet moment, even if they can be frustrating at times and I'm going to soak up every.single.minute and love on my baby like there is no tomorrow!!!!



1 comment :

  1. Hey girl I hope you are having a wonderful monday! I just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the liebster award! Check out my latest post :-)

    ReplyDelete

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