Pop {I'm missing you}

I'm missing my Pop (mom's dad) so much today.  My heart breaks and tears stream down my face.  Today would have been his 83rd birthday. We would have celebrated with all of the family, had birthday cake, and made great memories.

It's been over 4 years since Pop left us and soared to Heaven, and my heart still breaks as if it was yesterday.

Pop, I miss your big, manly, hands that comforted every fear.  I miss your laugh, and gentle smile.  I miss your voice and the way you smelled.  I miss our family gatherings, and the love that we all shared.  I miss when life didn't seem this hard because you always knew what to say. I miss everything about you, every second of the day. 

I hope I've made you proud.  Avery talks about you a lot. I remind him he's named after you and how much you loved him. We look through pictures, we smile, laugh, and cry.  We pass by your house and wish you were there so we could stop by.

Pop, I miss you so much and wish that I could have just one more minute, one more day!

Happy birthday, Pop, from your Doodlebugs! 


into pieces

My heart was broken into a million pieces the other day.  Pieces that I will never be able to pick-up and repair.  Sometimes heartbreak is just that cruel.  It happened one morning a week or so ago.  I was on my way to take Avery to school and we were practicing saying different words.  I try to practice his speech with him on the way to school as he's the most alert and not overwhelmed with other things at the time.

After a few practice words, Avery stopped me.  He said, "Mama, why do I have to always practice my words?"  I knew immediately where this conversation was going.  I explained to him that sometimes people need a little extra help to make the words sound right.

Of course, that didn't satisfy his curiosity. He then said, "Mama, why don't the other kids in my class have to have speech, why just me?" 

My heart sank.  He's noticed.  He has figured out that he isn't like the other kids.  He has figured out that not all of the kids need speech.

Sweaty palms, hyperventilation, blurred vision all begin.   Where is the mama manual?  What do I say?

I don't know where the words came from, but they started. "Sweetie, some kids have a hard time making words, just like some kids have a hard time learning to ride a bike.  We're all different and we all have areas that we need help with."

Those words had to of come from above, because I just started talking and had no idea what I was saying.

The words worked.  Avery said, "Okay."

Wow.  That was surprising.  I'm not sure if it was the words that comforted him, or the fact that he's maturing and can see the differences in other children too, but he was okay with the answer.

Although the conversation didn't last long, my heart still broke.  Avery is picking up on his struggles.  As of right now, Avery hasn't said anything to me about kids making fun of his speech, and I pray to the Lord that it never happens, but I fear it might.  And if or when it does, my heart will break into pieces once again.


avery's 5th birthday {coca-cola style}

Chris works for Cola-Cola as a supervisor over the truck drivers and Avery has become quite obsessed with the Coke trucks.  Every time we pass a Coke truck in town he wants to know who is driving and where they are going.  He always wants to call Chris and let him know what his guys are doing and that we saw a truck.  It was no surprise that Avery wanted a Coca-Cola party for his birthday.  It worked out well for us as Chris was able to bring a Coca-Cola tailgate tent, Coca-Cola cups, and even Coca-Cola chairs to the party. 



t's pokemon b-day party

We celebrated Trevor's birthday back in June. (Yes, it's August and I'm just now posting this.)  We had a nice little party at home for him filled with Pokemon ball cupcakes, waterslide fun, pizza, and a pinata!




sandy toes and salty kisses

We just got back from a weeklong vacation at the beach.  It was a great week full of lots of hole digging in the sand, raft riding in the ocean, bike riding around the island, and lots of yummy food eating!  Here are a few pictures of our 2013 summer vacation!


longing to meet

I long for the day I get to meet my little bean that left me too soon.  Today marks 3 years since my sweet 8 week old unborn baby gained angel wings.  I found this poem and thought it represented my emotions today well.

A Letter To My Unborn Child

So quickly you came into our lives,
So quickly torn away.
Never got the chance to meet you,
There's so much I want to say.
Where there once was joy and happiness,
Is now sadness, guilt, and pain.
All these thoughts running through my head,
It's enough to drive me insane.
Though you lived only eight short weeks,
You were loved so very much.
I wish that I could hold you,
I long to feel your touch.
On that *morning of July 12th,
My world was ripped from under my feet.
I pray that in another life,
We get the chance to meet.
*Changed to reflect today


summer days

Stone Mountain:  We went to Stone Mountain the other Saturday, with some of our amazing family, and had an absolute ball!!!





$15 pools:  Who needs a big ole' swimming pool to cool off?  Not us!


 Avery's Big Fish:  While at his dads last week, Avery caught this gigantic fish!  He is so proud of his catch!