little things {and big goodbyes}

When the house I grew up in sold a few weeks ago, we all should have been elated. In this economy, anything that sells should be celebrated. That's not the case here.

Truthfully, I feel as though I'm being selfish, and in some ways I most likely am, for getting caught up in losing what I called "home." In the grand scheme of things I'm lucky to have had a home. However, my sadness doesn't come from the drywall and wood that made this house; it comes from the memories made within those walls and the beautiful land that made it "home."

I rode many hours on the golf cart, 4-wheeler, go-cart, and even scooter on this land. I raised my cows, mowed many acres of grass, and pulled many weeds at the family nursery. This house held many birthday parties, graduation parties, Christmas', Thanksgivings, Easters, and even a wedding.. The last Christmas we had as a "whole" family was at this house. I miss my grandparents coming in the door just to come visit. I miss having my entire family around the dinner table. Although I can't bring back my loved ones, this house held the memories of the ways things used to be. The laughs, tears, giggles, late night talks, and early mornings held within our time on Rays Church Road are something I have always cherished, and will continue to cherish forever.

This move was the end of something beautiful. My parents are getting divorced and "home" will never be "home" again. The dynamics of my family will never be the same and my heart hurts. In all this pain I truly believe there is beauty. I know the phrase "beauty through pain" is becoming somewhat of a cliché, but I firmly believe it can happen. I'm marrying the love of my life next month, I have two beautiful boys, and my own home to make memories with my little family. The growth I've seen from my loved ones during these difficult days (and years) is amazing. God has held my family tightly and I know without a doubt HE got us through these dark days.