A lot has changed since my last blog update on January 12, 2015. A.LOT!
The kids are doing well. We are all counting down the days until school is out, we recently rescued a new puppy, Josie, Chris is still trucking along at Coca-Cola, and me, I’m in a phase of life that requires much patience and obedience to God.
This past February, I took a new job. A job that I was hopeful for. A job that I thought would be the answer to many prayers for my family. Today, I sit from home, typing this blog, and am now unemployed. The job didn’t work out.
My anxiety and depression took over me the last few weeks and I’m just now beginning to feel somewhat “normal” again. Our lives have changed. I have changed. The word “normal” has changed.
We’ve had to cut back on everything we do. Our house is a few degrees warmer to save on electricity. Food is only bought when needed and on sale. Meal plans, budgets, a whole lotta’ coupons, and many prayers are making our lives function right now. I’ve been able to get a few odd jobs to help, but losing a yearly salary and a nice paycheck every month was something I certainly took for granted.
Looking for a new job stinks. I hate interviews. I get sweaty palmed, anxious, and I am an all-around nervous wreck for the 30-60 minutes I’m having to talk about myself. Walking into the unemployment office and taking a seat also really stinks. I never thought I would be in that line, but I am.
Coming home after dropping Avery off at school seems weird to me. I’ve been getting up and going to school or work for 20 something years. It’s been hard to feel accomplished each day. Some days it’s been hard to function at all.
Changes require patience and obedience to God. I’ve never been great with patience. I’m a go-getter’ and I like to have a plan. These changes weren’t in my plan. This was not how it was supposed to be, but it is what it is. God has never not provided for me, but as a human being, it’s so hard to let go and let God sometimes. I’m trying. I keep praying, I keep praising, and I keep believing. I keep telling myself that this is just a bump in the road on the way to something greater and better. I’m not going to lie, waiting on the better is hard work. But, in all this messiness, I’m learning that we have it way better than we deserve and never realized it. I’m learning money doesn’t buy happiness and that family and friends are what makes me happy. I’m learning that patience and obedience were lacking in my life and I’m now leaning on them more than ever. I’m learning that God still hasn’t let me down, and that he has provided me with a great support system to get through this.
It’s still not easy, I’m still trying to cope with the changes, and I’m still waiting to see where this road will lead. But, I have faith (boy, oh, boy have I had to show faith!) and I have the promises of God to get my family and me through this time—it just requires patience and obedience.
Please be in prayer as my family and I navigate through these changes.