milestones

As mothers, I think it is programmed into us to remember milestones. There are some days I'll never forget though. Like the day Avery was born, his first birthday, his first day of school, and many more. As mothers we think of milestones as happy occasions, not ones filled with pain. Unfortunately, not all milestones bring smiles to a mommy's face.

Today is one of those days for me. Today marks the two year angelversary of losing Avery's little brother/sister. I ache on this day every year in the same way I ached two years ago. My heart is heavy on July 12th. There is a piece of me missing.

I remember laying in the hospital waiting to hear a little heartbeat and see a little face appear on the screen. I remember praying for a miracle. That day, two years ago, was filled with so much pain, but today I can see I got my miracle, just not in the way I prayed for. I have a guardian angel that watches me daily and I have a sweet, sweet face in Heaven that's going to greet me one day. Although I would do anything to have my sweet pea back, I know my baby is OK. No pain ever felt, no stress of life, no weight of the world on her shoulders, just pure joy in Heaven. And today, I'm OK with that because I know I have eternity with my little angel. If my sweet bundle of joy couldn't be here with me than I embrace the comfort of knowing Jesus is holding my baby and celebrating this milestone in Heaven today.