oh how the years go by {avery turns 6}

Dear Avery,

When I think about you turning 6, my heart aches a little.  It's not that I'm not enjoying you at this stage in your life, because you always bring joy to my life, but my heart aches because these years are going by so fast!  I cannot begin to describe these past 6 years and how much I have enjoyed being your mommy.   You, my dear baby, are amazing! Your zest for life is beyond my soul’s comprehension. I am in awe of every accomplishment you have made, every new thing you've learned, and your powerful and gentle spirit.  I often times call you "grandpa" because you always think things through, ask numerous questions (more like 100's of questions), and you always take your time.

Son, you are wise beyond your years.  You have a heart of gold and are one of the most passionate people I know.  You pray for those around you, you worry about those who are ill or hurt, and you always want to make sure everyone is okay.  Your little brain is like a sponge--you love to learn new things and you soak up life to the fullest.  So far, you enjoy school and are eager to learn.  I hope this doesn't change.  You are a brilliant little boy.

As of today, you say you want to be a Coca-Cola truck driver.  You love the Coca-Cola trucks and are always excited to go see them at Chris' work.  I'm sure that whatever you decide to do in life, you will give it your best!  You've always had a tremendous work ethic and for that I am grateful.

I want you to know that mommy is always here for you and will always, always, always love you no matter what!  You make my days brighter and you fill my heart with so much love.  I hope you have an amazing 6th birthday and remember mommy loves you more than there are stars in the sky!

I love you, Avery!

Love,
Mommy

into pieces

My heart was broken into a million pieces the other day.  Pieces that I will never be able to pick-up and repair.  Sometimes heartbreak is just that cruel.  It happened one morning a week or so ago.  I was on my way to take Avery to school and we were practicing saying different words.  I try to practice his speech with him on the way to school as he's the most alert and not overwhelmed with other things at the time.

After a few practice words, Avery stopped me.  He said, "Mama, why do I have to always practice my words?"  I knew immediately where this conversation was going.  I explained to him that sometimes people need a little extra help to make the words sound right.

Of course, that didn't satisfy his curiosity. He then said, "Mama, why don't the other kids in my class have to have speech, why just me?" 

My heart sank.  He's noticed.  He has figured out that he isn't like the other kids.  He has figured out that not all of the kids need speech.

Sweaty palms, hyperventilation, blurred vision all begin.   Where is the mama manual?  What do I say?

I don't know where the words came from, but they started. "Sweetie, some kids have a hard time making words, just like some kids have a hard time learning to ride a bike.  We're all different and we all have areas that we need help with."

Those words had to of come from above, because I just started talking and had no idea what I was saying.

The words worked.  Avery said, "Okay."

Wow.  That was surprising.  I'm not sure if it was the words that comforted him, or the fact that he's maturing and can see the differences in other children too, but he was okay with the answer.

Although the conversation didn't last long, my heart still broke.  Avery is picking up on his struggles.  As of right now, Avery hasn't said anything to me about kids making fun of his speech, and I pray to the Lord that it never happens, but I fear it might.  And if or when it does, my heart will break into pieces once again.

hush that fuss

Since my family and I started going to church on a regular basis, I feel that God is working in our (mine and my husband’s) lives tremendously. I feel so close to my husband at church. God’s amazing love is so powerful and strong, it’s truly indescribable. I know one of the things I pray most about is for God’s strength to work through me to raise God-fearing children. I want my family to thirst for the love of God and beg for his mercies.

With all of that said, I fall short on a daily basis. I'm guilty of "losing my cool" with my kids at times. What mother hasn't? That guilty and nauseating feeling when you know you just yelled at your own flesh and blood because you are tired, because they spilt milk on the floor, or even dripped pee on the toilet is sometimes too much to bear. This subject has weighed heavy on my heart as I have found myself more and more stressed out trying to work full-time, have a side business, and go to school. Who wouldn’t be in the nut house already? The point is my number one job is to be a Godly wife and mother to my family. I want my house to beam with the glory of God and I want my children to feel safe and secure at all times. I want to not only teach my children how to love in a Godly way, but I want them to see it daily through the love my husband and I give to them.

Today, I want to take the pledge to not yell. I want to take the leap of faith that God will provide me the wisdom, strength, and patience to always see my kids as just that, kids. No more crying over spilled milk, literally. This is not to say that I’m throwing discipline out the front door, because children need boundaries and they must learn to follow rules, but I want to discipline my children in a way that will teach them in a productive way and I want my children to know forgiveness, because God knows I’ve had to ask for it daily. Between proper discipline (instead of yelling) and the understanding of forgiveness, my prayer is for my children to want to work harder to be Christ-like.

I once saw a quote that said, “Families that pray together, stays together.”

Lord I pray, oh how I pray, that my sweet family always turns to you, our Lord and Savior, for guidance and also to learn to lean on each other for love, guidance, and wisdom. I pray that your merciful hands cover my family always and that we open our eyes to you always and forever. In your name, amen!


If you struggle with the stress of being a mom, on top of all the stress of "life" in general, take a moment to read these post:

http://theorangerhino.com/10-things-i-learned-when-i-stopped-yelling-at-my-kids/

http://theorangerhino.com/12-steps-to-stop-yelling-at-your-kid/

http://www.handsfreemama.com/2013/05/22/the-important-thing-about-yelling/

questions {from a 4 year old}

Honestly, I never realized how much young children ponder and analyze things until here recently. Yes, I had mystery questions in my head as a young child, but I really don't remember asking them-I'm sure my mother does though. The world seems so complex as an adult, and yet we know more than 4 year olds.

Some of the questions Avery has asked lately seem so simple, but in his little mind are huge. It doesn't stop at "how does the sun rise" or "how do you make orange," nope, this little guys brain is working overtime!


Recent questions:

{Avery}"How do I get to Heaven?"
     {Me}"Darling, you fly up with Jesus."

{Avery} "Is mommy going to Heaven with me?"
     {Me}"Well, mommy will probably already be there."

{Avery} "Why can't I hear Jesus talk to me?"
     {Me}"Jesus has magic ears, he can only hear you."

{Avery} "How did I get in mommy's belly?"
     {Me}"God put you in there with his super cool magic."

{Avery} "Why did they cut me out of mommy's belly? {Followed by, "Why didn't I come out between your legs?"}
     {Me}"Because you were a special BIG baby!"

{Avery} "When am I going to die/Heaven?"
     {Me}"When Jesus invites you to come live at his house, but it will be a long, long, long time."


There have been a lot more questions, but of course I can't remember them all. I answer them the best I can and sometimes I have to get quite creative. I don't want Avery to have fear of the unknown, and I don't want him to fear Heaven or Jesus. Keep in mind that last year he had a classmate die tragically and he still asked questions about her. He knows not just old people go to Heaven and if I explain that his classmate was sick, he thinks anytime he gets sick he's going to Heaven too. I try my best to answer every question in a very simplistic way, but geeesh, where is the manual on this one?

Do any of you have advice on this one?

sadly, he's right {gettin' big}

 

I can't tell you how many times my little Avery has told me, "Mama, I's dittin' bigs." I can assure you it's more times than my sensitive mama ears want to hear. I often gaze at the excitement he has for "dittin' bigs" and can remember the days I looked at grown-ups and thought it would be super cool to be big too. Precious Avery even tells me he can't wait to be tall like mommy-lordy, if the child only knew 5 feet 1 1/2 inches was pretty short in the grow-up would, he would probably set his standard a little higher. But nonetheless, my baby boy is "dittin' big."

I think as a mother you have to prepare your heart for constant bittersweet moments. I find myself getting frustrated because we are running late {if you know me in real life-can you ever imagine me running late? Ha!} and I wish in that moment Avery could just put his clothes on, the right way. Or I find myself getting frustrated because he makes a huge mess every time he eats. You know, the same-o stuff every mother wishes for in certain moments- for our child to be just a tad bit older and just a teensy weensy bit more independent. Is that what we mothers really want though? Do we really want our babies to be more independent and not count on us for every move they make? Heck no! What mother wants her baby to grow up?

Through these moments of my own selfish frustrations in wishing Avery could be more independent, mommy guilt sinks in-big time! I really don't want my baby to grow up any more. I know soon the days of wanting to cuddle with mommy will be gone, the days of kissing mommy goodbye at school will vanish, the days of wanting mommy's help to tie shoes or go potty will disappear and quite frankly, I'M NOT READY! My heart is not prepared for this. It's already hard enough to believe he's four years old. There is no stinkin' way he can grow up and be taller than his mommy one day.

No matter what I say or do, the reality of is all is it's going to happen. And it's going to happen too fast. In a blink of an eye, my sweet little 3 1/2 foot mini-me is going to soar over the top of my head, he's not going to let me kiss his sweet lips when I drop him off at school, and mommy won't be so cool anymore. There's no stopping time. Trust me, I tried to make a deal with God on that one and he wasn't havin' it.

One day, soon, my baby will be all grown up and one day he won't depend on me for every move he makes. And when that one day comes, I'm going to look back and remember the precious days of my sweet, baby, boy cuddles and picking up macaroni and cheese off the floor and think, "my baby was right, he did get big," and then I'm going to shed tears and have a nice long cry. But today-I'm going to treasure every breath I have with my baby boy. I'm going to relish in these sweet moment, even if they can be frustrating at times and I'm going to soak up every.single.minute and love on my baby like there is no tomorrow!!!!

chickenpox party {anyone?}

Avery has the chickenpox.

Many people have asked me if he was vaccinated.

My answer, "yes!"

However, don't let the term "vaccinated" fool you.

It is still very possible for your child to get chickenpox even after vaccination.

The vaccination doesn't prevent the chickenpox, it helps reduce the risk and seriousness of the virus.

So, we are now home bound and in quarantine.

At least 10 days out of school.

You have to wait until ever blister is scabbed over for you to no longer be contagious.

We have lots of oatmeal baths, lotion, and snuggles prepared for this outbreak.

 

Hopefully, little dude will have minimal itching.

Please say a prayer if you get a moment!

someone slap this mama {really, do}

Am I really having conversations with my 4 year old about where babies come from? Did my child really tell me he needed me to hold his wee-wee while he peed? Did my child really stand in front of the cat, naked, and shake his booty and say, "look at my booty, look at my booty."

Somebody slap me, because these words did come out of my child's mouth and I'm mortified!

Avery was born via c-section, therefore I have a nice scar on my tummy. Anytime we've ever talked about him being in mama's tummy, he's always asked how he got out. I always told him he was cut out from mommy. It was left at that and I had not planned on addressing anything further than that until he was much older and we had that convo about the birds and the bees.You know the one? It's the same one you dreaded your parents talking to you about. But that's not how it went down this last time. Nope. He said, "I did'n comes out 'tween yo' legs, mama?" Holy Moly!!! I proceeded to pick my jaw up.off.the.floor the rest of the day. HELLO! How would he know about that? It's the playground...yup, that's where they all talk about being born between their mama's legs. NOT!

If that wasn't bad enough, he told me the other night he needed help going to the potty. I asked him why and was told he needed me to hold his wee-wee. Then he laughed. I, on the other hand, wasn't pleased one tinsy.winsy.little.bit. I scurried him off to his room to think about his language. He was ordered to never.ever.ever say that again. Who stole my sweet and innocent child???

My little stinker is also subjecting the cats to his shenanigans. He got out of the tub the other morning and ran across the house nakey. I found him in the living room with his booty in the cats face. He was shakin' that thing like he had rhythm or something. He was signing, "look at my booooooty, look at my booooooty." Oh geez! Am I in for it or what???

Somebody slap me and then tell me this isn't really happening!

Boys!

Doing the Hoakey Croaky

{Warning: Don't read this if you have a weak stomach.}

No one is safe at our house at the moment. Not even the dog. Ever since Sunday morning, little A has had some crazy stomach critter. I thought these things lasted 24-48 hours, however, the sleepless days and nights I've encountered this week have proven otherwise.

Poor little fella had never thrown up before. Spit-up from milk as an infant, yes, throwin' chunks like a 50yd pass, not so much. He did not know what to think and told me it was "tuky." My heart broke for him. He ran a fever for two days, had 3 puking spells and only a few poopy incidences, but it was enough to keep him down most of the week.

As if one pukey-poopy person in the house wasn't enough, the dog started in on the fun too. Yes, the dog. I really thought I was losing my mind. Was this really happening? Not only were bed sheets going in the wash constantly, but so were the rugs in the bathroom. At one point, I was in the bathroom cleaning up dog poopy and throw up, Avery was on the toilet with the cha-cha's, and the cat was in her litter box leaving a present. It was pretty crappy. No pun intended there folks.

Oh well. What fun is life without curve balls being thrown at-cha?

Last night I started sanitizing the house. I Cloroxed all the door knobs, Avery's bed and mattress, and sanitized my floors. I really don't want this ooeey mess. However, if for some reason I do catch this madness, I want to puke off about 20 pounds. Is that too much to ask for?

Any-hoo, if you attended the birthday party last weekend at my house, beware. So far 2 other kiddos have had the Hoakey Croaky this week. So it's going around with a vengeance. Be careful friends...it ain't pretty!

Hope everyone is having a fab-ol-lish week! Remember to keep your hands washed well. Lots-o-germs floating around.

what it is to be a mother

I hope all of you mama’s out there had a fantastic Mother's Day. This past Mother's Day, I woke up with a different attitude than I had had in the past. I didn't wake up thinking, "oh it's just another day." I truly absorbed my day with my family and most importantly my kids. It took me a long time to fully grasp what it means to be a mama. No one has the right to be a mother. Being a mother is a gift, a privilege, and an honor.

A Gift 

When I found out I was going to be a mom, I was terrified. How could God possibly think I could raise a baby? Geez, I could barely pay my own bills and I only had $72.43 to my name. However, as soon as I listened to that precious heart beat going lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub I knew this sweet child was a gift. God gave me Avery to make me a better person, to bring joy into my life, and to bring light into my world when the days seemed oh so dark.

Two and a half years later, God brought me Trevor, a thriving 6 (now almost 8) year old who has brought even more joy to my life. To watch my boys grow and bond together warms my heart like nothing else possible. Never did I imagine this life and never did I think this would be my life, but God knew. God planned this all just for me and I wouldn't trade a single second of it.

A Privilege 

It saddens my heart to think about the precious woman out there who yearn for a baby and who have lost their babies. I didn't fully understand what a privilege it really was to be a mom until I lost a baby myself. Eight sweet weeks in my womb was not near enough time for me and my sweet angel. It was that day that I realized how privileged I was to have carried Avery for 9 months and to have him here and thriving. Yes, there are so many days I get frustrated and want to have a pity party because of the tantrums, the messes, and the disobedience, but at the end of the day, as long and stressful as it can be, I thank God for the privilege to be a mother.

An Honor 

I am reminded often that our children aren't really our children. They are God's children and God allows us to raise them and he entrust us to mold these sweet babies into Godly children. It's an honor to be a mother. It's an honor that God chose me to mold and shape two, sweet, boys into men of character and dignity. It's an honor to have been given this amazing gift of motherhood and it's a privilege to be not just a mother, but Trevor and Avery's mom; two little boys who God handpicked for my life.

 I love you boys very much and I thank you both for the joy you bring to me every day!

devotions {time with the Lord}

Last night was rough. I was exhausted from work, going to school, and staying up late studying. I wanted to come home and relax. However, Avery had other plans. We had screaming, spilling food intentionally, peeing on the floor on purpose, and, well, you get the picture. I felt overwhelmed. After two hours of trying to control Avery, I was mentally and physically exhausted. I didn't know whether to cry or scream.

I went outside and had a moment. Having a special needs child can lead to all sorts of emotions. Some days I feel as if I'm properly handling the situation, other days I feel like I'm walking a strange and unclear road. The answers are never clear and I question the appropriate route so many times. I pray out to God often to show me the correct path and yesterday I felt as if I was kneeling to him begging for mercy. I know mothers often feel this way. Special needs or not. Mothers carry a lot of weight on their shoulders especially when it comes to doing what's best for their children. Sometimes the weight seems to push us to our lowest.

As I was reading through my blog list this morning, I came across another mother who has had her own struggles and her struggle to find time "quiet" time with the Lord. With a busy schedule, it seems quiet time is hard to find. Jess, over at the Macs, brought to light to incorporating quiet time in the everyday hustle and bustle of life as a mother.

In my moment last night, I came to realize that I've become so dependent on myself to figure out every right and wrong turn to make when it comes to being a mother and I've turned away from allowing God's guidance to help me through the tough days. Jess' post reminded me that I DO need that quiet time with the Lord. I need to rely on my Savior to help me.

I googled "mother's daily devotions" and came across a daily devotional that sparked my interest. The book is called "Daily Wisdom for Mothers Devotional Journal." It's a devotional just for mothers. who are overwhelmed and seeking the Lords guidance. I read the first few devotions and thought this was a good starting place for me.

I can't wait for the book to arrive. I feel this struggle in my life is a gift rather than a burden. I know God is wanting to teach me more about myself through all these days of motherhood. As I've stated before, some days it is so easy to ask God, "Why me, why my child with special needs?" However, I can hear the Lord telling me that I'm not exempt from worldly pain, but to allow him to carry this cross for me. I don't have to bear it alone. There are so many lessons in life I've already learned through this experience and I know there is so much more to learn.

Jesus+Heaven {all with the innocence of a child}

If you follow me on Facebook, then it's likely you saw my post about Avery's classmate going to be with Jesus. The sweet little girl drowned in her bathtub a few weeks ago. I didn’t know how to handle the issue, so I left it alone until Avery asked. Sure as the world he asked where his friend was the next day. Being one of faith, Avery had heard the term Heaven before because we’ve gone to my grandparents graves and he’s asked where they were and so on. I told him Heaven was in the sky, far away. Anyway, for an instant, I didn’t know what I was going to tell him. I went with the truth and told him Heaven. He then asked, “Mama, she play in Heaven?” I told him, “yes, she plays in Heaven.”

He was OK with that answer, for a couple of days.Then he asked where his friends was again. I said Heaven and hoped that it would satisfy his curiosity for a little while this time too. Nope. He ask, “Can I go and play with Alexis in Heaven.” Oh Crap, what do I say? How do I explain this one? I tried to explain that he could way, way, way down the road, but Mama wanted him to stay here and play. In a 3 year olds mind, that was sufficient enough for that day.

Over this past weekend more questions rolled in. "Why is Alexis in Heaven?" "Where's her mama at?" "Where is Jesus?" "Why is Alexis with Jesus?" "Can I play with Alexis?" "Can mama take me to Heaven to see Alexis?" My mind was boggled. I honestly didn't know how to begin to answer these questions. So I just went one-by-one down the list and gave it my best shot. I addressed that Heaven was far away. Jesus lives everywhere, even inside our heart. I told him that Jesus wasn't ready for us to come play with him yet and he would let us know when it was our turn. Alexis' parents were at home because Jesus hadn't invited them over to play in Heaven yet. And the toughest question I answered was, "Why is Alexis with Jesus?" As tough as it was, I went with the honest answer. I told him she died. He understands that died means not able to move. Much to my surprise, he accepted that answer as well as all the others. He repeated everything back to me, which he does a lot anyway. He likes for me to know he understands or visa-versea. 

He kept telling me Jesus was in his heart as he rubbed his chest. He even told Jesus "hello" while rubbing over his little heart. I'm sure there will be more questions and I'm sure I will panic as I try to figure out a truthful answer that is appropriate for a 3 year old, but I feel fortunate enough that my child cares about others. I'm happy that he feels confident in me to provide these answers to him, even if he's only 3. I pray that he always has this trust in me and that he will always ask me questions, even if the answers are hard for his mama to explain.

santa clause {questions of a 3 year old}

 Here is my conversation with Avery this morning.

Avery: "Mommy, where Sana T'ause wive at?"
Me: "Buddy, he lives far, far, away."
Avery: "Mommy, we go Sana T'ause nome?"
Me: "No buddy, we can't go to Santa's home. It's too far away."
Avery: "Mommy, where Sana T'ause mommy at?"
Me: "She lives at Santa's house."
Avery: "Mommy, where Sana T'ause daddy at?"
Me: "He lives with Santa too buddy."
Avery: "Mommy, Sana T'ause at wook?"
Me: "Yes angel, he's at work."
Avery: "Mommy, Sana T'ause make me trac-trac and tains?"
Me: "If your a good boy, Santa will bring you tractors and trains."
Avery: "Mommy, Sana T'ause watch me?"
Me: "He sure does buddy. That's why you have to mind mommy."
Avery: "I tood mama!"
Me: "Yes, you can be a good boy."
Avery: "Mommy, Sana T'ause go night-night?"
Me: "Yes, Santa goes night-night?"
Avery: "Mommy, where Sana T'ause nome at?"
Me: "It's at the North Pole buddy. Far, far away."
Avery: "Mommy, we go Sana T'ause nome?"
Me: "No bud, we aren't allowed to see Santa make the presents."
Avery: "Sana T'ause come to my nome?"
Me: "If you're a good boy, Santa will come see you."
Avery: "I tood."

God Appears in Mysterious Ways

Have you ever just felt down? You don't know which way to turn and nothing seems to be right. I struggle with this often. Lately, I've been struggling on how to be the best mother to my Avery. A lot of days I feel like I'm falling short because my patience have run out at the end of the day, I'm tired because he didn't sleep the night before, or many days include multiple tantrums. I beg God to give me more patience.

I received an e-mail this morning that I'd like to share with you all, especially mothers of special needs children. I feel like it came at exactly the right time. God certainly appears in mysterious ways.


Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

“Armstrong, Beth: son: patron saint…give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity”

Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her a blind child.”

The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”

“Exactly.” says God. “Could I give a child with a handicap to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”

“But has she patience?” asks the angel.

“I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it.”

“But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”

God smiles. “No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”

The angel gasps. “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”

God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with the child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied.

She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says ‘Momma’ for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

“I will permit her to see clearly the things I see – ignorance, cruelty, prejudice – and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

“And what about her patron saint?” asks the angel, pen poised in midair.

God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”

Erma Bombeck

~ Erma Bombeck published this column on May 11, 1980.

first day

I dropped Avery off at school today.

It's was a strange feeling to drop him off at the same school I went to kindergarten and first grade at.

It still looks the same as I remember.

Everything miniatured sized.

Avery did well.

No tears.

A few looks of confusion, but all and all not bad.

I held up well too.

No tears from me either.

I'm happy for my baby.

I'm glad there is a great special needs school in our area.

Sweet, baby, boy is going to do miraculous things in his life.

I cannot wait to witness my baby accomplish so much.

He's an amazing little boy who has changed my life.

There is no greater gift than being his mama!

 

 

 

 

 

apples and lemons {life is bittersweet}

As I was driving home tonight from school, I started thinking about how bittersweet life can be. Sometimes you take a bite out of life and it's sweet, much like an apple, other times it's like biting into a bitter lemon. Then, occasionally life gives a lovely twist and you take a bite out of an apple and a lemon at the same time. That's how I feel today.

I got a call this morning from Avery's school. About a month ago I started the process of trying to get Avery accepted into the special needs program at one of our county's elementary schools. It's an extensive process of testing and evaluating to get into the program and today I got the call I so desperately have been waiting for. Avery got in.

Of course I'm ecstatic that he qualified. Avery will be getting so much help and as I talked about in my previous post, he's getting the early intervention that is so critical. However, on the other hand, it's hard to accept the fact that my little guy has developmental delays and we are even going down the road of needing a special needs program. I want to scream, "Why my child?" But, I already know the answer. "Why not my child?" Just because he has delays makes him no less and it doesn't change my love for my sweet baby boy. It's just a hard pill to swallow that my little buddy is struggling. No parent wants their child to struggle. It breaks my heart and tears me to pieces inside. I'm doing my best to stay strong for Avery, but it hurts his mama's heart.

So today, my friends, I experienced one of life's bittersweet moments. A time when my heart was overjoyed because my baby is getting the help he needs, but sad that he's having to go down this road. I have no doubt though that my angel baby is going to push forward and succeed in anything he wants to do. He's already come so far in his speech. It's amazing to hear him say new words. No matter what, I love my baby boy and will keep pushing to get him all the help he needs.

Early Intervention

I wish you all could hear Avery talk now. I'll try to get a good video of him soon just to show you how well he's talking. Sweet boy has worked so, so, so hard and has come far in improving his speech. He still has struggles and a lot of words are still hard to interpret, but to hear my sweet baby really talk and communicate absolutely warms my heart.

With that being said, here's my soapbox. EARLY INTERVENTION people! If your child is struggling, has been diagnosed with a speech disorder, autism, or any other delay, early intervention is KEY!!! As soon as I noticed Avery not keeping track with other kids his age a red flag went up. True, not all kids form at the same speed, but when your child isn't talking at all at age 2, there's a problem. There are so many resources out there to help special needs children. I know some parents don't want to believe their child needs extra help because no one wants there child to be "delayed." However, being delayed doesn't mean your child is stupid. It simply means your child may need a little extra help in certain areas. I am a firm believer that the earlier your child can get help the better off he or she will be. So please parents, if you have any concern with your child's development, ask your pediatrician. If your pediatrician says "wait it out" and you feel that something "just isn't right," get a second opinion. Your child is worth it! Ok, I'm off my soapbox now. You're welcome.

Avery continues to go to speech weekly and I meet with the special needs preschool next Friday to hopefully get everything finalized for him to start. Please pray this process goes well. :-)

the joys of boys

I go to pick up Avery yesterday afternoon from his sitter. Her son runs cross country and had a meet at the high school. I get to the track as the last few laps were ran. Avery's sitter and I are standing there talking and carrying on just like any other day. I can see Avery out of the corner of my eye and knew he was right there with me. So the sitter and I kept talking. Then I looked down to see that my child had pulled his pants down, had his penis in hand, and is about to pee on the lawn of the track. I hurry and pull his pants up and look around to see who all might be starring at me. Those poor runners. They were trying to concentrate and here is my child naked about to pee on their running area. I guess I'm going to have to stop letting Avery pee in the yard at home.

After I picked Avery up, we go home and I start to get ready for my girls night. I lock the house up good so Avery can't escape and jump in the shower. All seems to be well while I'm in the shower. He normally plays or watches T.V. I get out of the shower to check on him to see the biggest mess ever. He got into the dogs food and water bowls and spilled that everywhere and then he dumped out an entire bag of dog treats and cheese nips in the floor. Oh my!

I start to clean up this mess when he runs to me and says, "mama, I wet." Oh geez, He peed his pants. I clean up that mess and take him upstairs for a bath. Luckily, bath time didn't turn out so bad, but goodness I was worn out and it wasn't even time to leave the house yet.

Oh, the joys of boys!

Life...

...keeps moving on.

Avery turned 3 years old last week. (Time just seems to have flown by. I still don't understand how my itty-bitty baby is now 3. ) We went to Your Pie and ate pizza and got ice cream on his actual birthday and then we had a big party last Saturday. I'm pretty certain he had a blast as he was worn slap out for the next day or so.

Avery continues to go to speech therapy 2 times a week. His SLP is very impressed with his progress, as am I. I still have the daily struggle of trying to figure out a lot of what he's saying, but any progress is great!
I've gotten all of his paperwork into the school system and am now anxiously awaiting to hear back so I can set up his evaluation. I feel like the process is taking forever, but hopefully now that his paperwork is in things will speed up. I've briefly talked to him about going to school and he's super excited. Every school we pass by he asks if that "his 'tool." Precious!

Besides the speech issue, I'm currently struggling to get Avery to sleep through the night again. I've read numerous articles on how to handle this situation and hopefully with some adjustments we will be on the right track soon. (A mother can hope, right?)

As for me, I start school back Monday. I'm so close to applying into the nursing program, I feel like I can finally see the light! I'm really nervous about it, as it's an extremely competitive program. I am trying to stay positive and focused, so hopefully things will work out well.

I hope everyone is doing well and I'll catch up with ya' again soon!

Catch Up

It's been a long while since I gave an update on what's been going on in our lives. I posted a while back about Avery being diagnosed with Autism. As I was then, I still feel pretty overwhelmed with all that's going on in trying to make sure he has every early intervention therapy possible. I'm in the process of getting him signed up for a special needs pre-school within our public school system. It's a lengthy process, but I am starting to feel good about my decision to let Avery go to pre-school. Avery is excited, which makes me feel even better. He keeps saying "I go 'tool'!"

Right now, we are still working with his speech therapist twice a week. He is making progress and I am always eager to hear him say new words. Another thing we are working on is his behavior. Yes, he's a toddler, but my-oh-my at the tantrums. Some days I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out. I know he's got so much frustration built up with not being able to communicate adequately with us, but wowzers at the fits this child can throw. That being said, I'm finding myself constantly researching better ways to get Avery to communicate as well as discipline techniques. (If you have any tips, please let me know!!!)

Other than that, our summer has flown by. We enjoyed a week at the beach a few weeks ago and highly enjoyed ourselves. I start school back on the 25th and I'm a little tinsie-wensie excited to go back. I'm not looking forward to school in general, get real, but I like the idea of being a step closer to being done!!!

I hope you all are doing well!

Children

While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt